On October 2nd, 2009, I submitted a manuscript to a publisher. I practically bit my nails off for the next week. I looked through the manuscript, and found misspelled words, punctuation errors. Wow…what was I thinking? They won’t accept this. It’s no good. I cried myself to sleep a couple of nights in a row. All the inferiorities and insecurities came flowing through me. My heart was in knots and I was a failure, without even hearing from the publishing company, I knew I was an idiot for sending something so inaccurate to them. I wanted it to be something special and it was nothing. I was nothing.
On October 8th, 2009, I got an email from the publishing company. I didn’t open it right away. I sat there and looked at it listed among the other jokes and poems that had been sent to me. Should I open it? Maybe I wasn’t strong enough to take rejection. Why wouldn’t I be strong enough, I’ve been rejected my entire life.
Finally, I clicked on the email and it opened. I was given the word that my book was going to be published. I couldn’t believe it. My eyes watered and my heart was so grateful. Someone somewhere had acknowledged me. Someone accepted me. I was someone with a chance to show what I could do.
~ L ~
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